To my beautiful Lyla,
As we fast approach your 2nd birthday, I am rushing to make sure you have presents and a party, and that everything is in place to celebrate your big day, because shortly before that you are going to become a big sister and your world will be turned upside down.
Well, it already has really. All that time and energy I used to give to you has upped and gone and left me an utterly exhausted mama whilst I do this last bit of growing for your sister. I think you kind of understand what is going on, that there is a baby in mummy’s tummy (not that that stops you from climbing and jumping all over me, sorry baby but you better get used to it!). This last few days has really hit me hard, and my worry for you has increased tenfold.
I’m sorry that our days focus a lot around the TV. I’m sorry that for most of our time spent together I am sitting on the sofa just watching you, or that sometimes you have to bring your toys to me rather than me sitting on the floor with you. I’m sorry that our meals aren’t quite as exciting at the minute. I’m sorry that it really doesn’t bother me how much you want your dummy. Im sorry that I can’t wait for daddy to get home each day so he can relieve the pressure I’m feeling just a little. I’m sorry I get a bit emotional every so often. I’m sorry that this is just really hard work. I’m sorry that I worry so much about all I’m sorry about.
Because I know it doesn’t matter really. That you love me and I love you. So thank you, for being you. You are amazing. Thank you for sleeping like a dream. For giving me cuddles and kisses when I need them most. Thank you for needing me. And for showing me how amazing you are going to be.
I promise our adventures will resume very soon, and they will be even more exciting as you will have somebody to share them with! Everyone tells me that this is a really lovely age gap, I really hope they’re right. I hope you will understand that you will always be our priority along with the new baby, and that mummy and daddy love you so very much. That we are doing this for our family and our future, for you.
I hope you feel as lucky as we do.